We are only human...

When my middle daughter was three years old, my family went to Starbucks for my daily coffee. The line was enormous but I was determined to have my daily fix. As the wait continued, I noticed that my son and daughter began to get slightly impatient. Instead of leaving, I remained committed to my coffee. After all, I also had a newborn at the time and had minimal sleep the night before. I turned around and as if in slow motion, I saw my son pick up my daughter and drop her into a metal display case. The result; 21 stitches under her chin.

I share this story because so many families that I work with speak about the challenges that they face while in the community from a behavioral perspective. As I reflect upon that experience, I think about what I could have done differently. I realize I did not lay out my expectations for their behavior in the car as I suggest to most parents. I could have intervened with a whisper in their ear and a quiet redirection such as give them money to hold to help with the transaction. I could have used a positive reinforcer such as “If you wait in line quietly, then you can have a chocolate milk.” Furthermore, I put my needs for caffeine over identifying a situation that was about to escalate and leaving.

I could’ve done all of this and didn’t. I remind myself that at the end of the day, we are all-human and are going to make mistakes. I think the most important lesson is to not only to learn from our mistakes but more importantly to forgive ourselves when we make them. I now use that mistake to remind myself to always prepare my children in advance of my expectations, use positive reinforcement and remember that sometimes even with all of this knowledge we still make mistakes.

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